My heart pressed into love shapes
I’ve handed you the white flag.
I need your mercy.
kindness with depth
and curiosity
for right reasons.
I don’t fear
I’m unseen here.
My dark ignites into kisses
lips against the sacred
mouth finding absolution.
I’m wholly myself
when on my knees.
Braiding myself with Loki
hurts in the best sense.
I twirl down and weave rounds
as He spins me,
dancing.
I leave my skin
against the grain of the wood,
My hair a carpet under foot.
Sheared to skull
His to fill
My lips igniting offerings.
Strands I washed,
full of heavy emotion.
Grief worn tangible
for a year
before I could bear
carrying less.
The ritual.
Braid cut off,
shaved close enough
to feel sunshine
kissing my temple.
A section of hair
given up
to hear better
what the rain cries about,
angels singing,
my God
and His laughter.
I sat beneath the shears
wondering
if I’d feel this horrible relief
had I done it sooner.
I believe in perfect timing.
Even tragedy
holds mirror
It is right.
Sheared down,
I am softer now.
I let go.
Quartz facets
speak.
I gather each voice
quietly.
Release.
Golden honey glowing,
a light draws me forward.
I run into the sunshine,
the starshine,
the moon,
wide open.
I reclaim myself
from lying too long
in the cracks
that were you and I.
Daisies grow.
10 Songs
This playlist honors the animal self, the shapeshifter that moves by instinct and deep feeling. May you enjoy. – Raven
The animal wakes.
Auteur by Saint Mesa
Angel by Massive Attack and Horace Andy
Instinct rises.
Sugar by Sleep Token
Like That by Sleep Token
Animal (Stripped) by MISSIO
The pulse tightens.
Beggin for Thread by BANKS
Waiting Game by BANKS
Down into the body.
Bottom of the Deep Blue Sea (Stripped) by MISSIO
The shift.
Give by Sleep Token
The Host of Seraphim by Dead Can Dance
His attention bat me
into the clouds.
No mind on heights.
My wings locked.
I fell from the sky
into the sea,
breaking through glass.
Memories,
webbed netting,
dragging me down.
Flightless lungs.
Scooping out water
with feathers.
Words burn the silence.
Tears quaking my body.
He loved my anger because it meant I was still his.
I loved it too for the same reason.
Vibrating cage bars
braced between my palms
aching from holding on too long.
My pride turned the key.
I still hold the ashes.
I stopped calling them passion.
Crushed stars beneath him.
dangling,
weightless.
Set down
on the back shelf,
still warm.
Drowning,
in devotion.
Dark all around me,
worm moon spilling open.
A blink of red.
I bent.
Ring around the iris.
Leaning into night.
Eyes meeting eye.
I loved him like he was my sun.
Shining for him
I split myself open.
Fragments
lodged dagger-sharp
in my heart,
a cage
I bled out in.
hoping he’d pick up a shard
for an hour,
a day,
a minute,
a hi
just a taste of his love
was enough.
until all the beauty in the world
spun down,
held in his hand,
feeding me
small increments
of good.
it wasn’t good for me.
but I liked it anyway.
Even when the cost rose,
carrots dangled
small victories
just out of reach.
A starving rabbit
hops.
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