A Lokean Devotional Vignette
“It hurts too much, Loki.”
“Because you feel like it’s all yours to fix.” His words trickle down my mind.
“Your body, your back and shoulders, are bearing more than is yours to bear.”
“I don’t know how not to.” Anger singes my admittance.
He continues lighting matches in me.
“Not only is it not all yours to bear, but you were trained, conditioned, to carry it all until you believed it was your responsibility to.”
“But why?!”
“Well, you are the one bearing it. You tell me.” His face inches from my own.
“Because they just didn’t want to. They made me responsible so that I would for them.”
“Yes,” he says nonchalantly, as if he’s had this conversation often in other shapes and forms.
“How do I stop being responsible for it all?”
“Be a little less responsible for others and a little more responsible for yourself first, and see what that feels like.”
“Become like them?”
“No. Your version of responsible is so extreme-ended that if you were to be a little less responsible, it would balance out as regular.”
I break into laughter.
He smiles.