Tag: power exchange

How Much It Would Cost Me

September 12, 2026 / Raven / 0 Comments

From the Wild Collective Heart series: Part 29

Content Warning: Trauma, dissociation/DID, coercive control, trauma bonds, psychological manipulation, and coercive power-exchange dynamics.

He said that he wanted me to wear his collar and asked me to show him the necklaces I owned that I thought he’d like to see me in.

I chose a protective stone that was a large obsidian disk on black leather. I liked how it felt protective and had some weight. It highlighted my pale skin.

I also chose a copper necklace that I could adjust the chain length on with my jewelry-crafting supplies to make it more of a choker. It had a hammered O-type ring that was dainty and delicate. It belonged to Lilith, whereas the other necklace belonged to all of us.

I tried them both on for him, and he said he knew I wanted him to choose the black disk, but that he’d always had a thing for copper. So it was settled then, and he allowed me to wear the copper necklace as the collar he gave me.

I ended up liking how it moved on my neck, flipping and shining red bare copper in the light.

I could ask to wear it.

-Star

He told me to put it out on display where I could always see it, to meditate each night on the collar, and to make a ritual oil for its care.

I did.

He never let me wear it, though, and it became ugly to me. I had wanted his collar once but didn’t know how much it would cost me.

I realized in a moment of clarity that he’d taken my necklace, something I had gotten for myself to protect me and my system within a circle, and claimed it as his. It really sums up our exchanges with him overall.

-Lilith

I Fell Into Grace

September 10, 2026 / Raven / 0 Comments

From the Wild Collective Heart series: Part 26

Content Warning: BDSM and coercive power dynamics, psychological manipulation, grandiosity, dissociation, references to childhood abuse, and spiritual themes.

It was very disturbing to watch the Raven fall into submissive territory. I perked up to take her place… naturally. Demons demon.

I started misbehaving for our Dom in small, ridiculous ways, chipping at his very thin-shelled exterior. I thought to myself, if he is who he says he is, great! He’ll love the self-reflection and awareness. If not… okay, then it’s working.

I have this twisted pride. No one has anything on my father. I didn’t want him to be worse. I needed my father to maintain that position because worse is unimaginable to me, and fuck anyone trying to knock that fantastic pedestal my father built for himself and placed me beneath.

He’d called me good, and I really took it personally. Oh, now I have to learn to what? Behave saintly? No thank you. We have parts for that.

I lazed around flicking my tail at him and shining my claws. I happen to love madness. A little bit.

His was truly unrepentant. He’d crafted a whole spaceship around himself that zipped around and through us with noxious fumes, and I fell into grace after a while, aware he wasn’t really allowing me to demon. He was just taking my spot inside my system that I had rightfully earned by knocking the Raven a peg down.

I found the Gods and began to pray. In particular to the Goddesses, because my experiences with men weren’t so good.

-Lilith

Every Good Mutiny

September 10, 2026 / Raven / 0 Comments

From the Wild Collective Heart series: Part 25

Content Warning: Trauma, dissociation/DID, coercive control, trauma bonds, psychological manipulation, abusive power-exchange dynamics, and references to mental health destabilization.

Leaving therapy sucked so much for me. I’d been using it to run away from my system, as it turns out. It was my safety net, me and my psychologist “against” my system. It was never going to work like that, but I couldn’t have that awareness until we left therapy.

In retrospect, it really was time to leave. We were making our choices and being responsible for them. We were functioning well for us. We were living the life we wanted to live.

But fuck if there wasn’t that ex Dom there reminding us we can be out of our mind if not vigilant.

I threw down and joined my system in all the reindeer games. What else was there to do? They had the majority, and system law says the majority gives no fucks about my sensibilities, logic, and care to live a respectable life.

I’m not at all spiritual, and what transpires next is both my deepest shame and my freedom to create exactly a shit pile of shit if I want to.

I let myself fall for that jackwagon. It’s so disappointing to me and so “not me.” I mean, I actually started to see the beauty in the intentional triggers he was pulling off on us and what I could learn from them.

My own curious nature got out of hand. I no longer had therapy to throw myself into, so I threw myself into… whatever it can be called. An incredibly abusive, toxic D/s? He called it biology, but that was dumb. That places me as an animal, a pig if you will, and I never consented to being a pig.

I can also be controlling in that I figured if I threw myself in, I could somehow gain back some kind of control in the situation, even if it was gradual over time.

I found the situation and circumstance hilarious. I went mad, full-steam-ahead mad.

Every good mutiny deserves a part like me, and I showed up to play my role.

-Raven

Who Would Take Care of Me?

September 4, 2026 / Raven / 0 Comments

From the Wild Collective Heart series: Part 13

Content Warning: Grooming, coercive control, power exchange, and references to trauma and dissociation.

He told me he knew that I was good and not bad, not a demon. I’d never heard such a thing before. No, no, I am demon. I do demon things and host my little demons inside. What the fuck is this about being good and not bad and not a demon? It felt like Pop Rocks on the tongue as I repeated after him out loud.

Curiosity lined my insides and I buzzed with the desire to learn more. So he had thought I was bad, but I proved otherwise? How? Is it my nature to now prove him wrong? Maybe. Depends on what this is.

He knew my Star, which is improbable. Only I know of her and one other external person. Handlers sometimes trade us around, I guessed. We didn’t have one to turn to at all, it seemed. Who would take care of me? He said he would.

He gave advice and instruction. He gave time and attention. He listened. And so a contract constructed itself between us that seemed feasible. I learned I needed to heal and that was why I was in therapy. So the energy between him and me would serve that purpose, to heal by.

My Star trusted him, and I wanted to trust him, but handlers usually do have their scary sides. I knew to be aware of that. And sure enough, some months into the power exchange dynamic, he let slip a bit of his scary side.

-Lilith

Say It. Mean It.

August 13, 2026 / Raven / 0 Comments

An Intimate Lokean Devotional

“Say it. Mean it.” He cuts through my tears.

“Say what?” I ask Loki.

“That you are not a bitch.”

“I’m not a bitch.”

“Good girl.”

Waiting to Be Seen

August 3, 2026 / Raven / 0 Comments

An Intimate Lokean Devotional

He’s a mad scientist I watch with curiosity. His hair wild, green eyes glowing with mischief. Leather straps buckle across his chest, matching the ones that cradle my wrists, holding them spread apart. My heart wide open as he likes it to be, for him, for me.

Restrained on the bed, I watch him mutter to himself as if I’m not here. I wonder when he’ll turn those glowing eyes on me, his attention on me, his love.

He suddenly slams his palms down on the workbench.

“Would you please ask me what I am doing, Love?” he says with mock frustration.

“What, what are you doing, Loki?”

“Waiting for you to notice me.”

A sly grin spreads across his face as he slips on a thin black glove. He wiggles his long, slender fingers for me to admire. My breath catches. The slightest embarrassment kisses my brain as I quiet myself from confessing:

I was waiting for him to notice me, too.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Dear Love,” he says, leaning over to kiss my forehead. His soft lips find my mouth.

Heat flushes through my body.

Aching for him.

Just One

June 27, 2026 / Raven / 0 Comments

How many necklaces do you need?

Just one

Good.