From the Wild Collective Heart series: Part 19
Content Warning: Trauma, dissociation/DID, spiritual possession narratives, family invalidation, psychological distress, and references to mental health treatment.
I excelled at therapy. I treated it like high school and really worked at it. The alternative was to sit in the trauma with no relief, and so the incentive to help myself and be supported was high. Also, I had that whole pesky narrative to disprove for all parts of me, the one trying to strip us of our humanity and frame a well-known mental health condition as spiritual possession or not even real.
Our mind was broken. Our body was broken. Our spirit was seriously questioning everything we’d known to be true. That person online had joined the wagon that I was possessed, along with my family, before he blocked communication with us. From all sides, my world collapsed. The only way out was straight through that bullshit and into understanding myself and listening to my inner parts. Supporting myself.
-Raven
I was there in therapy, but mainly just checking out the psychologist to make sure they were safe for us. I didn’t really feel hopeful much could change and get better. My whole life was a trauma loop just waiting to come back around. If not for Raven, we wouldn’t have chosen therapy for ourselves at all. We would have kept in the loop, in the shame, and in the crazy-making for the rest of our life. I love her more for making us do the hardest things and acting as whatever we needed to heal. A parent, a friend, a sister, and a guide.
-Rogue
And they entrusted me enough to make solid changes in our quality of life as a DID system and as a people. That’s so difficult for many internal people to do.
-Raven
Yeah, but it took an enormous amount of patience from you to get us aligned with similar goals and safe enough to need at all.
-Rogue
Thank you.
-Raven