Circle of Tall Trees

Tag: D/s dynamics

Dom My Butt!

September 18, 2026 / / 0 Comments

From the Wild Collective Heart series: Part 41

Content Warning: Dissociation/DID, coercive power dynamics, sexual manipulation, abandonment within a D/s dynamic, emotional abuse, difficulty accessing mental health care, and spiritual themes involving magic, spirits, psychic attack, and spiritual protection.

Yeah, one day, I cropped up for an hour or so, not really with it, to be honest, and messed around with our Dom a bit. Then he just blew it for me because he told me I was so easy and the rest of us were so difficult, and he was complaining to me about it. I started thinking, well, if they are all being difficult for you, then I need to also be because I’m not going to be the odd one out, and fuck you for telling me I’m fucking easy. Dom my butt! But you know, I was just messing around, and I wasn’t looking to get back into a D/s with him full time. Later, I was promptly informed it was a never-again situation, and well, that made sense.

-Rogue

Oh fuck me, it was a never ever ever again for me for a very long time, and I just had to wait until we all got into alignment about it. I had thought I was patient, but this tested that patience by a shit ton.

-Raven

I sincerely hated him. He’d conned me into giving it up and then completely ignored me for weeks. Then I realized that he was ignoring me while watching me suffer and enjoying it, which was never discussed at all. There was a ton of foreplay, and then he just dropped me the moment I gave it up. Gross. So gross. Ew, I can’t even believe I fell for it.

-Stevie

I love how you and Raven are such snobs, and I’m just like, what’s up? Okay, oh… Oops!

-Rogue

Having standards isn’t snobby.

-Raven

No, but the way you two do it, it sounds a bit pretense-like.

-Rogue

Anyway, what a mess. It became abundantly clear he was messing with us in any way possible. To what? Garner our disgust, I guess.

-Raven

We told him we sent his monitoring spirits away and he’d never find them again because fuck him for abusing elementals.

-Stephanie

To which he just said he was wondering where they were. Disgusting. So, we learned he wanted us to know he’d been behind magical and psychic attacks and also abusing beings, not just we human beings.

-Bear

I was trying to get us back into therapy, to which every single professional I approached said no. So, we were left to stabilize ourselves and keep away from him through working together.

-Raven

It’s a thing with DID. Not everyone can treat it, and not everyone is willing, and it’s a whole thing. We’d been lucky to receive nearly a decade with our psychologist. That was grace. And yeah, it just turned out we had to work this out for ourselves at the time. It was very disheartening because in therapy they say ask for help, and we had asked many people for help for a second time and none were willing to help. Like, don’t teach me it’s safe to do that and have no idea of the reality for a people like me. The circle-jerk is so not necessary.

-Rogue

It was spiritual warfare. Therapy could only help us stabilize at that point, and it was unfortunate to have been met with rejection when we already felt rejected by our ex Dom.

-Lilith

Lilith is right. Therapy does not address the spiritual aspects of trauma, and so it would have been nice to have the stabilizing help, but ultimately, we were set on our course and needed to free ourselves.

-Star

Plainly and Unabashedly

September 8, 2026 / / 0 Comments

From the Wild Collective Heart series: Part 22

Content Warning: Psychological abuse, coercive D/s dynamics, dissociation, BDSM, religious conditioning, and complicated spiritual and sexual dynamics.

We’ve really had to discuss how to speak about this, the spiritual side of what happened to us with our first-ever Dom, who wasn’t a Dom at all, nor were we looking for a Dom. It’s very, well, chaotic, as you can tell by now. He was the person to introduce us to BDSM at all.

Our upbringing introduced us to a very classic dynamic within couples that made it feel natural to us. My mother and her mother and her mother were all submissive to their husbands. It was not only the spirituality we lived at the time, but also the dynamic in the home of our upbringing.

I remember my oldest brother asking me to cook for him on occasion. Like, literally, he asked me to make him a sandwich and another time a pie for his girlfriend. I did it with pride for having a skill that he needed. I was useful.

So, with this Dominant person, it was entirely natural to me that it would be the same. I was useful.

The issue is, my worldview was very cut off from the world at large. I only had a tiny perspective to go by and nothing else to gauge reality from. I still kind of prefer it that way, to be true. We’re already complicated, and humans are, and so I do actually prefer my world to be simple, while I also really love the complexity of reality, much like I enjoy a good story.

-Lilith

It is complicated to not sound completely off our rocker talking about the spiritual aspects. Well, but the D/s was always spiritual to us. That is right there to see within our upbringing. We treated it as holy. A communion between souls and God/s. It’s how we learned to open to our devotion and ekstasis at all. It is agape.

-Star

I rather like the plain texts on such things. Plainly and unabashedly is best.

-Lilith

Of course.

-Star

True. So Boring Though.

September 8, 2026 / / 0 Comments

From the Wild Collective Heart series: Part 21

Content Warning: Psychological abuse, coercive sexual dynamics, BDSM/D/s dynamics, trauma reenactment, dissociation/DID, manipulation, sexual language, and references to childhood trauma.

He called himself our pimp when we came back to him. He was beyond happy about it. I was not celebrating, as I understood this to be reenacting on our part, and his part? Well, the truth reveals itself in “pimp” from the get-go. I mean, I can’t put it any more succinctly than that.

I was not as cohesive as we are now, nor was I at the helm of our life any longer when this happened. I came out fighting and furious.

I told him and my selves this was only reenacting and soon it would be done with, to which he mocked me, telling me, “You just need a little reenacting and all good to go.”

I guess this is when it became sincerely personal for me. He knew I was not in executive control of my system. He started in on calling me a bitch and telling all parts of me I am just a bitch he needs to submit. I tried to keep front. I tried to handle it, but Rogue was better equipped.

-Raven

Yeah, the trouble is I liked the psychological fuckery. I still do, but of course now, I understand that he in particular did not have our best interest in mind, and it could not be a real D/s without the key elements of negotiation, sanity, and boundaries, along with discipline and, foremostly, consent.

I kind of chalked it up to, well, at least we’re alive! We’re living and making choices, and that’s better than dying from COVID! I needed the structure and the attention. I needed to be allowed my sexual-ness without the constant shame of that expression from various parts of self. No shade intended. This is all hindsight stuff, anyway.

I fell head/vagina long into a D/s arranged around my trauma and his narcissism. I had fun too. Hence why I reiterate, I thought I was also a psychopath like my father, like him. I fucking found him so relatable it was intense. Like, we were made for each other.

AND we were, sort of.

It’s that whole empath and hunter-prey dynamic. Oh fuck me, I had lived for that shit. Not only was it home, right? It was intoxicating. It was enthralling, finally the vampire I could be fucked by. Chills.

But I do solemnly recognize he fed off my ability to imagine and create enough for me to make him a prince of darkness to begin with. He really had to do very little, actually. I filled in the blanks of him with my fantasies, and he willingly accepted.

Gods, if only we’d met in a mental institution.

-Me playing. Sort of.

-Rogue

Yeah, well, while I was living the horror of being aware we were being conned and abused, catfished even, I’m glad you enjoyed it.

-Raven

Don’t get pissy. You enjoyed it too.

-Rogue

No comment.

-Raven

Omfg, this is your time to shine. No shame, babe.

-Rogue

Alright, I fell for him too. For a moment I understood the dynamic and believed we’re fucked and crazy, and what else is there to do but join them and see what this is all about? BUT I read and learned about true BDSM dynamics on the side, and yeah, I knew this was not going good places.

-Raven

You liked it.

-Rogue

Oh, I loved it. I have no shame about that. But he was not a Dom. Not at all.

-Raven

True. So boring though, but true.

-Rogue

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Content Notice
Audience: Adults (18+).
Rating: Comparable to an R-rated film. Contains mature themes, sexual and sensual material, trauma, and spiritual content.

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