Circle of Tall Trees

Tag: DID (Page 1 of 4)

Crow Radio Episode 27: Park Adventure

October 22, 2026 / / 0 Comments

Raven hosts Crow Radio and talks about a park adventure, DID and copilots, treasure hunters, crotchety era, change, external validation from within and from the ancestors, celebrities, sustainability, learning to ask for help, and the effects of being punished for vulnerability as children in adulthood. She also discusses the layers and shades of healing the same things, maple leaves versus oak leaves, self-discipline, appreciation of others, men, embracing personal growth, and trusting her body.

Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and spiritual perspectives. It is not medical or mental health advice or a substitute for professional care.

Crow Radio Episode 16: The DID Episode

October 11, 2026 / / 0 Comments

Raven talks about exploring the pumpkin patch, breathing, natural versus selling, self-assessment, living as a DID system, and the people who question the reality of DID.

She reflects on spiritual possession versus DID, highly structured systems, spiritual warfare, the spiritual layers of trauma, therapy, personal responsibility, and reclaiming sovereignty through healing.

Also discussed: advocacy, healing through positive experiences, the right to live the life we choose, no longer hiding, and fusion.

Disclaimer: This podcast shares personal experiences and spiritual perspectives. It is not medical or mental health advice or a substitute for professional care.

Crow Radio Episode 11: A Love Letter to My Littles

October 6, 2026 / / 0 Comments

Raven talks about the littles and her role managing ourselves and our creative endeavors, self-parenting, milestones, and a love letter to our littles. She explores a few gifts that have come from trauma, the many facets of love, and how difficult love can be for a trauma survivor. She also talks about learning ways to communicate with our DID system, spirituality as connection, spiritual law and balance, gifts from ancestors and Loki, and life itself as a gift. Finally, Raven reflects on overwhelm and trees, letting ourselves take breaks without guilt, tending the internal world, and finding alignment with self and the world within.

Disclaimer: I speak from my own lived experiences, perspectives, and what I’ve learned along the way. I may share thoughts, suggestions, or things that have helped me, but I am not a mental health or medical professional. This podcast is not a replacement for therapy, medical care, or professional mental health support. Please take what is useful to you and seek appropriate professional support when you need it.

Crow Radio Episode 5: Caffeine Fiend

September 30, 2026 / / 0 Comments

Lilith hosts Episode 5 of Crow Radio, wandering through nightmares, cemetery etiquette, nature gifts and asking first, caffeine, spirit channeling, DID system life, pumpkin coffee, Captain Fantastic, Christmas Coca-Cola silliness, making a home beautiful, clutter bombs, crafting, rustic cinnamon stars, writing stockpiles, punctuality, magic in noticing, and waking from a nightmare.
We also talk about having our voice silenced, and accepting the moments when emotions need to be felt.
Happy Odin’s Day!

Disclaimer: I speak from my own experiences. Crow Radio is not mental health or medical advice and is not a substitute for professional care. Please take care of you, and I’ll take care of me.

Crow Radio Episode 4: Manager Raven

September 29, 2026 / / 0 Comments

Raven talks about being the manager of daily life in our DID system, wandering cemeteries and autumn leaves, grief and empathy, Odin’s ravens, Loki and the gods, nature and elemental spirituality, shadow work, logic and belief, and learning to give sadness and grief the space to teach us who we are.

Disclaimer: I speak from my own experiences. Crow Radio is not mental health or medical advice and is not a substitute for professional care. Please take care of you, and I’ll take care of me.

Crow Radio Episode 2: Absolute Ish

September 28, 2026 / / 0 Comments

Star hosts Episode 2 of Crow Radio, talking about AI and creativity, discernment, intuition, imagination, the inner child, sovereignty, the darker side of self, and learning to be the one making your own choices. She reflects on gratitude for self, learning to hold hands as a system, and her relationship with Lilith and the appreciation between them.

Disclaimer: I speak from my own experiences. Crow Radio is not mental health or medical advice and is not a substitute for professional care. Please take care of you, and I’ll take care of me.

Crow Radio Episode 1: Grumpy Cat

September 26, 2026 / / 0 Comments

Lilith starts us off by reflecting on early life with DID, how our system has changed over the years, and what life looks like now. There’s talk of PTSD, COVID, chaos, disability, and figuring out how to live with all of it, with some humor and a lot of heart.

Disclaimer: I speak from my own experiences. Crow Radio is not mental health or medical advice and is not a substitute for professional care. Please take care of you, and I’ll take care of me.

Anomaly

September 19, 2026 / / 0 Comments

From the Wild Collective Heart series: Part 44

Content Warning: Dissociation/DID, childhood trauma and trafficking, digital exploitation/trafficking, BDSM and coercive power dynamics, trauma reenactment, psychological manipulation, trauma bonds, spiritual abuse, references to death and survival, and spiritual themes involving deities, the Tree of Death/Qliphoth, and energy work.

So, yeah, our ex Dom had us pinned on that Tree of Death alright. We had no guide at all until we found the Gods and Goddesses. They stepped in to help us ease out of it. They guided us so gently to see the truth of an abnormally bad situation.

Odin’s word for it. An anomaly in regard to that time period.

He wanted our death walking to end. He wanted us to be in alignment with our heart and not walking a dark path for anyone ever again.

Loki sat down in it with us. He stayed. He loved us down there while we were learning to love each other and pull each other out of absolute darkness. He became the protector we never had. The guide who allowed us to learn so that we never fall into those holes again.

Our ex Dom was trying to push us to be evil. If he couldn’t have us not knowing what he was doing, then he wanted us to be evil, too, and choose that path for ourselves. He wanted us to destroy ourselves for him and never speak a word of truth about it.

I know I should have died. I know I would not be here if not for the Gods. I know that with every cell of my body. I survived because of my DID system and because the Gods helped me where perhaps no human being could without being pulled into that void, too.

And this all mirrored our childhood.

We reenact the things we cannot process. Our brain acts them out to try and heal itself. One of the reasons we stayed in it is because it was too difficult to acknowledge the reenactment of our childhood. To us, it was worse to do that than stay in the situation, until it became astronomically worse to be with our ex Dom and find we could not get away from him.

We could not stop ourselves from reenacting when triggered what we could not face.

I was trafficked when I was a little girl. I grew up to be digitally trafficked as a disabled adult. The circumstances surrounding both time periods involved my family and the spirituality I grew up under.

My system was never the issue. My system saved me, and our inability to process inhumanly impossible situations and circumstances was what became the danger to us later in life.

There was no one who could support me but the Gods and the parts of self who went through it with me, and I love myselves and my Gods with all my life and breath. My whole soul loves every part of them and me.

Even when I did not have the energy to get back up again for, well, about two years, Loki somehow inspired me to be his all over again and get up this one more time and have a voice and live in the trees like I wish to.

Telling my story unhooked the rest of that experience from me. This has been me shaking off those final hooks, and it feels so good. They were never mine to bear.

I love my sovereignty and know its value now. I love my humanness and know my value. I love my authenticity and have waited a long time for it to be a good time to share us.

It’s a good time.

-Star & Lilith

It feels finished.

-Raven

Yes. It’s bittersweet. That was a decade of our life or more.

-Star

You aren’t counting childhood.

-Raven

No. That was a whole other life.

-Star

I’m excited for new projects and that we finished this one.

-Rogue

Loki said it would be quick. Writing this all out.

-Lilith

I can’t stop smiling because I’m happy that chapter is over and we can do so much now.

-Lily

It’s good enough.

-Judith

It’s fine.

-Stevie

I get all the peanut butter I want now. Also, I get to read whatever I want. We get to write whatever we want to write, too.

-Bear

The end of this series. May there be enough love, peanut butter, and blank pages to fill for all!

-Lily

Aye!

-Lilith

Aye.

-Star

Aye!

-Rogue

Aye!

-Judith

Aye!

-Raven

Aye.

-Stevie

Aye!

-Bear

Aye!

-Stephanie

THE END!

The Tree of Death

September 19, 2026 / / 0 Comments

From the Wild Collective Heart series. Part 43

Content Warning: Dissociation/DID, coercive power dynamics, psychological and spiritual abuse, spiritual manipulation, trauma, and intense spiritual themes involving occult practices and the Qliphoth/Tree of Death.

We went on to heal as wounds came up instead of hunting them out inside of us. After the fact, we learned the way we were operating under our ex Dom was something called the left-hand path, the methods employed being the Tree of Death (Qliphoth). Us human beings are very prone to going insane and becoming spiritually compromised from such practice. I’d even go as far as to say its alchemy is really not something to talk about or tempt others into.

It’s with sadness and a heavy heart that I bear those marks in me. I do not feel pride for it. I feel deep grief and sorrow. I feel like it’s not something to boast about, and I’m not okay with even saying it’s something we humans should be engaged in. There is such a thing as too much light and too much darkness.

I understand the ego it takes to be a practitioner these days. I understand it is a survival technique, and I’m not knocking that. Having my insides scorched out alive was like a spiritual lobotomy that I would not have recovered from had I not had DID. Multiple parts of self able to compartmentalize.

I am not powerful because of my scars. I stand in my power because I am sovereign, and I worked for that and continue to work for that in my life. I work to open choice for myself and others in the ways that I feel safe doing so, whether it is an idea or influence that helps untangle a knot of grief inside. I don’t know its effect. I can’t. But I can hold my intentions with it as true to my experience and aligned with my heart.

Our ex Dom had put us through the Tree of Death repeatedly. No break, really, not until he needed a break himself. He had no remorse for doing that to us without our full awareness in it. Then he drained me of my energy for himself and his friends, repeatedly using what I was alchemizing for his own spellwork and spellwork on me to keep me fueling things.

My heart is broken for who I thought he was and who he actually is.

I told him so many times, your friends aren’t your friends. They don’t even care for you. You aren’t in balance. You are around the wrong people. He seemed to hear me sometimes, but ultimately chose his path, and I have to honor that it is his right to choose.

I cannot help him, and that was my biggest lesson. Helping him dragged us under a million times too many, and it never should have happened. But I thought I could help him, and therein lies my hubris.

-Star

Deep Change

September 18, 2026 / / 0 Comments

From the Wild Collective Heart series: Part 42

Content Warning: Dissociation/DID, BDSM and power-exchange dynamics, coercive control, psychological manipulation, trauma bonds, sexual themes, spiritual abuse, and spiritual themes involving deities and energy work.

Loki came back exactly one year later, and he burst in with all the fiery heat of his godhood. He was quick-witted, sharp-tongued, and completely serious in telling us, okay, time’s up, and we will be resuming where we left off together.

We could not believe it. That he came back. He agreed he should be our dominant partner and help us learn what that even looks like, to have a place of reference. I have no words for it. It was strange, wild, chaotic, and fun while also terrifying, but in a good way. Like, I was learning the difference between actual dominant energy and what our ex Dom was.

And Dear Gods, I also was having to admit I had some wildly unethical fantasies, you know, that I had wanted to engage in for my own self. My not knowing that or admitting so allowed even the tiniest smidge of our ex Dom into our landscapes, which he was actually well versed in. We told him everything. He read our journals. He had the upper hand on our psyche, not we. And he didn’t dissociate like we did. So, he wasn’t piecing fragments together like we were to try and understand what was happening.

Here is where I learn: never ever ever tell another human being everything. Never. Human beings are not perfect and cannot hold that kind of trust without even subconsciously abusing it or, worse, just forgetting it and not using it deliciously. Anyway, so, there are certain degrees of things that we only give the Gods, and that was what I was learning. Loki can hold and know everything about me and my system. That is actually wise in working with him at all, but a sexual partner? He didn’t even need to know fricking any of what we told him, and of course he was tempted to go use it or, like, make himself some weird ringmaster of people and all sorts of falsities disguised as deep inner wisdom and healing.

Oh yeah, and we had to realize where our own greed to heal ourselves became muddled, not helpful, and hubristic. Luckily, we were a bit deranged from being in his energy, and so what he gained from us was a bit of his own derangement and not actually my ancestral dowry. And oh yeah, we are sponges for other people’s energies and gifts and things. We retained that gift from childhood, and anyway, so we were sponging up his poison, and he was using his own poison through us to sound like an anything. A wizard, Harry, you know?

That’s not to say we don’t have our own gifts, but that is to say how we see all the gifts and talents others have and their demons. We just weren’t aware that’s what we were doing. We’re like children, you know, in that sense. We haven’t had the words to describe it until, well, we do have the words.

If you are a child, inner-child-like this, please, please learn to shield and guard your sweetheart head and body like it’s life or death because you don’t want to be accidentally drinking poison and/or be amplifying things for others that it is not their path to have amplified.

So we had to, in a sense, take accountability for our thinking we knew anything and actually not. Which is why we tell stories now because, hey, I don’t know anything here, bub. Take what you need and move along, you know? Stories really are the safest way of things for me and my own. I did not think it would be true stories, but fuck if that ain’t where we are, you know?

-Lilith

We had to change. That’s what it came down to. We had to significantly change to unbind ourselves entirely from our ex Dom. Deep change. Frightening change. Change that propelled us to even write this story down at all. We had to step firmly into our authenticity.

-Star

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Audience: Adults (18+).
Rating: Comparable to an R-rated film. Contains mature themes, sexual and sensual material, trauma, and spiritual content.

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