From the Wild Collective Heart series: Part 4

Content Warning: Candid reflections on substance withdrawal, psychological high-control dynamics, and internal survival and protective responses.

Lilith, the mother of our demon side. It’s not quite a title I’m proud of. But I do give good demon.

I was still a drug addict the first time I was woken up again. I searched the house cupboards for anything I could take for the withdrawal pains. Body aches, headaches, belly sick, and shakes. I found the basics and settled on some Benadryl to knock back out.

Only trouble is, I didn’t go into the deep sleep. I just woke right back up after a cozy nap in a clean bed, and my sniffer began to suspect something was indeed up.

I specialize in keeping our demons managed for a specific kind of handler. Sure enough, we had indeed met such a handler. He explained I was older now. He said he just wanted to be dominant to my submissive and care for me, for all of us.

What shit was this again? Dom to what and who? My little ones are supposed to serve you?

So I watched.

I watched him like a hawk for weeks before testing him with me. I wasn’t sure what his end was, but I was positive I could find out. He had my Star, and that was no good. No good at all. Star is my responsibility. She’s my angel. His claim on her pissed me off.

-Lilith